Feeling The Pressure Of The Future

I've always had a kind of 'rough' idea of what I want to do in the future, whether I will ever make it there is another question in itself. I'd like to say I'm optimistic and that I try to encourage myself daily to be as positive and driven as a I possibly can. The plan to get to where I want to be however is still underway because I'm not going to lie there are days I wake up and have no flippin idea of what I'm doing and where I want to be, I'm sure I'm not the only 19 year old that has these thoughts though especially when this is the age you are expected to know so much more than you probably do...about finance, about future careers, about everything and anything really. Quite frankly there are days I'd love to sit around at home, drinking tea, watching Gossip Girl on repeat and writing blog posts for weeks to come...I'm afraid it's just not possible for everyone to do this 24/7 because god knows I would if I could!

Sixth form to me was the hardest place to try and fathom out what you wanted to do in the future, the pressure to make decisions fell on your shoulders all at once, they were so heavy and often made my head go scatty. Teachers piled you with questions and made you have whole lessons based on the future when you just wanted to do it all yourself and not be constantly asked:

"WHAT WILL YOU DO AFTER SCHOOL? WHAT UNIVERSITY ARE YOU GOING TO? HAVE YOU SORTED FINANCE OUT? HAVE YOU LOOKED AT ANY UNIS? WHAT IF YOU DON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU AREN'T GOING TO UNI?"

The last question...a question I got frequently asked when I made my decision that I wasn't going to apply for uni and instead wanted to get myself a full time job. I wanted to get out into the world of work, put my foot first on the path to my future career and to me Uni just wasn't part of my plan. Some teachers didn't understand this at all. thinking I that I wasn't going to be successful in the future because I wouldn't have gone to uni...many of them didn't even ask me what it is I wanted to do in the future so how were they to know? I get that certain jobs require a degree such as being a Doctor or Dentist but I wanted to go into Fashion, Media and Marketing and I had done enough research to realise I could work my way up on my own, get lots of experience and all without going to Uni. It honestly used to drive me crazy every time someone pulled a shocked face when I told them, I'd almost want to shout at them and list all the reasons I didn't need to go, but being the person I am I'd just smile.

Realising I'd need to find a full time job or apprenticeship sent me into the next pressures of then looking and applying. I applied for literally everything and  then Thackerays in Northampton (where I live) had a job opening for a Marketing and Online Administrator which covered basically everything that interested me from creating the layout and banners for the website, to creating edits with new seasons trends and brands, to sending out email advertising, tweeting about the company and also blogging for them. I pretty much have the perfect first job for me and have learnt so much in the year I have been there, but can't help feeling I still put so much pressure on myself , constantly aiming to achieve more.


I think everyone decides at different points in there life when they want to achieve their goals and how they plan on doing it, we shouldn't put an age on when you have to grow up by and when you should be 'settled down' and in a 'steady' job because lets face it what's the point in all following sync with each other, isn't the point of it being your own life that you are meant to decide for yourself when you are ready to face the future and as they call it the 'real world'. I'd like to think I will be happy with the road I decide to go down, the decisions I plan on making and even though at the minute I struggle even making decisions on what lunch to have every day I'm sure that the future won't be as scary as it seems at the minute.

So, when the pressure falls on your shoulders to make instant decisions, it's good to take a breather and think about yourself...block out the outside noises and believe me following the path you want to be on; not others will make you a lot happier.

T-Shirt: Zara
Jeans: Asos
Mules: Office
Earrings: Topshop
Necklaces: Vintage

Caitlin x